The mandate for my job to be shut down, for the city to close and for life to come to a screeching haunt came March 11th, 2020. Maybe I, life as I knew it, how I moved about the world came to a screeching halt also. I tried to write. Yet, my brain could not manage all that was happening around me and within me at the same time. Apparently, there can be quite a bit of turmoil that happens inside of all of us. Most times, for me, I never acknowledged it because I was moving too fast to see it.
I haven’t written publicly since April 2020. I am 1 year and 4 months past my original posting anniversary and I am still trying to figure out all that I have to say. I have epiphanies on life and love, friendships and employment, color coordination, and plant growth. I’ve explored and sat silently. I’ve gained weight and lost it, cooked and ordered out, attempted to try multiple recipes in a cookbook that I have, and lamented being in the house.
I sat still for over 10 months. Listening. Mostly to my own voice, as for quite some time the pitch of others was just a little too loud.
I am still trying to navigate my way through crowded spaces. This includes classrooms and my own thoughts. Yet, I am still here. Here to alleviate the pressure of all of my ideas. Here to sit and speak fervently to a platform that so patiently awaits presence. Here to simply practice consistency.
I am here. I don’t have much more than that at the moment, but I can say that I am glad you are here with me.
Yaaassss Tee! Back to writing, even if you “don’t have much” more to share at present. Thank you for sharing what you have. It was the “I’m still trying to navigate my way through crowded spaces. This includes…my thoughts” for me! 🙌🙌
In reference to the pandemic, crowded spaces now cause new found anxiety. Generally speaking, cluttered, crowded, messy spaces can cause confusion and frustration and need to be cleaned and cleared out, so goes the same with our minds.
Again, thank you for sharing! ❤
Thanks for reading and commenting! It is hard navigating life and “adulting”, but we are making it!